


Two Intelligent Uncles Chatting to the Beat

by MelodyLepetit



Series: Crack fics from the plot generator [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crackfic!, F/M, not really a romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 16:57:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18608698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelodyLepetit/pseuds/MelodyLepetit
Summary: Another HP themed fic from the story generator





	Two Intelligent Uncles Chatting to the Beat

Thorfinn Rowle was thinking about Hermione, his Princess again. Hermione was a ruthless know-it-all with curvy hair and althletic bum.

Thorfinn walked over to the window and reflected on his immaculate surroundings. He had always hated official Ministry of Magic, London with its great, gleaming glass windows. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel concerned.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a ruthless figure of Hermione, his Princess.

Thorfinn gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a snooty, malicious, Firewhisky drinker with tall hair and blond bum. His friends saw him as a vivacious, vain Viking. 

Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a witty kitten.  
But not even a snooty person who had once jumped into a river and saved a witty kitten, was prepared for what Hermione had in store today. 

The frost teased like dancing flubberworms, making Thorfinn surprised. Thorfinn grabbed a long Hufflepuff's cup that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Thorfinn stepped outside and Hermione came closer, he could see the zealous glint in her eye.  
Hermione gazed with the affection of 9784 adorable bulbous bowtruckles. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want the location of Horcruxes."

Thorfinn looked back, even more surprised and still fingering the long Hufflepuff's cup. "Hermione, come over here, Princess," he replied.

They looked at each other with ambivalent feelings, like two narrow, numerous nifflers eating at a very tactless Ministry of Magic Annual Chairty Ball, which had Weird Sisters music playing in the background and two intelligent uncles chatting to the beat.

Thorfinn studied Hermione's curvy hair and althletic bum. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," began Thorfinn in apologetic tones, "but I don't feel the same way, and I never will. I just don't love you Hermione."

Hermione looked cross, her emotions raw like a difficult, delightful dress robes.  
Thorfinn could actually hear Hermione's emotions shatter into 2387 pieces. Then the ruthless know-it-all hurried away into the distance.

Not even a drink of Firewhisky would calm Thorfinn's nerves tonight. 

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry not sorry, Canimal but you can't copyright the pet name "princess" /endrant


End file.
